A PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY ON BIRTHING

1. Childbirth is the perfection of womanhood.

I have known many women who really long to bear children. I have a friend who didn’t want to marry her boyfriend of eight years. When I finally received an invitation for her wedding, I asked her why she changed her mind. Her answer was because she wants to have a baby. Upon learning that I was pregnant, another friend said, “Oh, my wife will be so envious of you.” This friend has low sperm count. He and his wife have consulted many specialists and have undergone a lot of tests. It has been three years and they are still waiting.

Should we pity the men who can never experience the joy of pregnancy and childbirth? When I was pregnant, I would often complain to my husband, “I wish you were the one who’s carrying this baby, Don’t you know it is so difficult? You’re not the one who will feel the pain when the baby comes out…” My husband would say, ”If I can do that, I will. It would be easier for me to experience these myself rather than feel helpless and worry sick over you and the baby.” Yes, we women have difficulties, discomforts and problems. But nothing compares to the feeling of pride and happiness when you hear the first cry of your baby. You think, “I’ve nurtured a life inside my body!” Now, that’s something you can achieve and the men cannot.

It is God’s design for women to give birth. The women in the Bible consider themselves cursed if they don’t bear children. One famous example is Hannah, the mother of the prophet Samuel. Because she was barren, her rival Peninah, who has many children, would provoke her and irritate her. Because she was barren, she would often cry and not eat, and even her husband could not comfort her. One day, she poured out her heart to the Lord God Almighty. He opened her womb and she gave birth to Samuel whom she dedicated to the Lord and Samuel grew up in the Lord’s service. For Hannah, what matters is the experience of childbirth, of being able to give life and love. Rejoice women! You have this wonderful capacity by God’s design. Rejoice!


“And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.”
- Genesis 1:31


2. Children are a gift from the Lord.

Our grandparents and great-grandparents believe that children are a blessing. That is why they want to have as many children as possible. My maternal grandmother has 8 girls and 3 boys. My paternal grandmother has 5 girls and 3 boys. They believe that having many children would mean that many people will take care of them in old age. This I have seen was true for my grandparents. (Although both couples are now deceased.) Having many children also translates to having countless grandchildren providing them comfort, laughter, enjoyment and company during their retirement years. I think the Filipino people, in general, specially in the rural areas still think that having many children is good. That is why, our population figure is still growing despite the government’s family planning program.

However, the same belief does not hold true for the new generation of urban dwellers, who are more educated and career-oriented. They know the advantages of having a small family. Almost all the friends I know want to have 2 to 3 children. They want to spend more time with each child, give the best education and support to each child; which they would not be able to afford if they have many children. Despite the number of children they choose/plan to have, they recognize that children are treasures. That is why they want to give their children the best.

As a mother, I know this as a fact. Yes, there are times when I am tired and irritated because my baby demands so much from me. But in general, my baby gives me hours of pleasure and enjoyment. It is sheer happiness for me to see my baby smile and gurgle. It is with utmost pride and joy to see my baby achieve her firsts (e.g. first time to roll over, to eat solid food, etc.) I know a little boy who asked his mother, “Ma, do you know what old (adult) people’s toys are?” The mother said, “No, I do not know. I don’t think adult plays with toys anymore.” “Yes, you do have toys,” said the boy, ”Your toys are the babies.”

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward.”
- Psalms 127:3



3. If the Lord is going to give you a gift, He is not going to make it painful for you to receive it.

If a friend will give you a gift, I doubt it if he will make it difficult for you to receive it. He will not say, “I have a gift for you, but you will undergo a lot of hardships to get it.” Or, “It will cause you great pains to get it.” Remember, our God is a gracious-giver. He gave us His only beloved Son, and He made our salvation so easy. All we have to do is to accept His grace. The same is also true with childbirth. It may be uncomfortable, but it will not be hard nor painful. If the Lord is going to bless you with a child, It will not be painful.

“But Thou art a God of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger, and abounding in loving kindness;
and Thou did not forsake them.”
- Nehemiah 9:17b


4. With the doctor’s expertise by your side, with your husband’s hand holding you, with God’s eyes watching you, you have nothing to worry about.

At St. Luke’s Hospital in Quezon City, where I gave birth, the husband is allowed inside the delivery room if the woman is giving birth using the Lamaze or other natural childbirth method. However, once the woman is given medical intervention, (e.g. anesthesia) the husband will be requested to leave the room. From my experience, my husband’s reassuring hand during my labor provided enough emotional support, such that I chose him instead of the anesthesia. I have to thank my Christian doctor, too, who stayed by my side since I entered the hospital. In between contractions, I talked to God and prayed for a quick and safe delivery. And everything worked out fine. It was tiring but nevertheless an exhilarating experience.


“And again, ‘I will put my trust in Him’ and again, ‘Behold, I and the children
whom God has given me.’ For assuredly, He does not give help to the angels
but He gives help to the descendants of Abraham.”
- Hebrews 2:13 & 16